Lara's story

Lara reflects on how hospice care helped her family create lasting memories until her dad’s final moments

Community hero Neil Dorothy died at home in November 2023, surrounded by his beloved family, following a four year fight with cancer. His brave daughter Lara shares how the families’ experience of hospice care allowed them to continue making memories with Neil until his final breath.

As well as a proud family man and a Lego enthusiast, Neil was also a police officer, serving our local community for over 25-years. His family were his world and he loved nothing more than going on holidays and spending time together. It therefore came as a heartbreaking blow to the whole family, when Neil was first diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in March 2019. Neil underwent several major surgeries and treatments following his initial diagnosis.

Happily, Neil was then in remission until April 2020. During this time, he even visited the Cransley Hospice Trust fundraising office as part of his charitable work with the Freemasons, to drop off a generous donation for hospice care, showing how much he valued the support provided by local hospice services. It wasn’t until covid started to take hold of the country in March 2020 that he found out that the cancer was back in his liver and other areas.

“At this point, we were told he had three months left with us, but we actually had another four years!” Lara recalls. Neil had a specialist surgery and had support managing his pain and symptoms.  However, in the last few months of his life, Neil made the difficult decision to stop treatment. “He realised that the treatment was not making his final few months as special as they could be,” Lara continues.

From then, Neil was admitted into Cransley Hospice on many occasions for respite care and pain management. “The hospice were so incredible with supporting my Dad and my family. My dog Maddie was allowed to come into the hospice, and we as a family just felt very normal. She was just on the bed having cuddles, it was so special to be able to bring home to the hospice. For us, we just thought ‘Wow, he is really being cared for.’” Lara smiles.

“My Dad dying at home was a personal choice of his own. Home was his special place so he wanted to receive the care here.”

The Hospice at Home team provided Neil and the family with incredible support during such a heartbreaking time in their lives. Not only did they provide guidance and reassurance to the family about what would happen, but they also quickly arranged for all the necessary equipment to care for Neil to be delivered to their home.

One of the biggest benefits of the care received was the support that Neil had with his pain management. Lara tells us, “It was so lovely for us as a family, not to see him in pain. They did everything they could to support”.

Neil passed away at home, surrounded by his family in November 2023.

Lara reveals, “I think lots of people think a hospice is just a place people go to die. In total Dad had four or five visits to the hospice, but he didn’t die there. And I think it just shows that lots of different things can be done in a hospice that isn’t just caring for people in the last days of their lives”.

Lara couldn’t imagine her family having to go through the experience without the help and support of hospice services. She urges our community, “Now is the time to help other families receive the care and support that we desperately needed, because every moment matters”.